Sasuke's Retirement
by A-kun
Summary: Sasuke shocks everyone by retiring from Team 7.


Naruto Omake: Sasuke's Retirement

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Sasuke Uchiha had become a disappointment to many who thought he should have become the next Sannin. However, while he had retired from active duty, he'd gone on to become the best bureaucratic-nin ever, and was the Chief of Seal-Breaking after he'd destroyed Orochimaru's seal on him without killing the infamous Sannin.

However, he was quite mysterious about his ways. Whenever he was given a seal to break, whether on a scroll or a person, he always insisted on privacy. If it was on a person, he would numb their bodies, plug their ears and blindfold them (in the case of the Hyuuga clan, he would also close a few of the chakra gates near their eyes so they couldn't use their infamous Byakugan).

Today, he was working on Anko Mitarashi, so he hadn't needed to close chakra gates, but he still needed to take the other procautions.

No one must ever know his terrible secret.

"It's a MEOW-valous day to do some drawing!" the musical Hello Kitty pencil box sand as Sasuke pulled it out of hiding. Sasuke laughed to himself, that was SO true. Sasuke pulled out a Kerropi The Frog-designed pencil with a surrogate eraser on it and went to to work erasing Orochimaru's seal on Anko. It didn't take long and he just had to blow the rubber dust away. He snuck the pencil back into the box, which spat up the line "Rainbows make every day brighter!" which brought another smile. He hid it and set about releasing Anko from the various sensory depravations.

It was amazing how easily simple rubber worked on getting rid of seals, but it was more astounding that no one else had realized that a seal was essentially just ink and chakra, but the ink was more important because it told the chakra how to act. If there was no ink, the chakra dispersed harmlessly.

Sasuke thought about it as Anko left skipping. He'd pass on his secrets eventually, but he'd have to get a less embarrassing set of pencils and rubber. No one was to ever find out about his Hello Kitty Special Collector's Edition pencil box.

Ever.

That reminded him.

"Oy, Neji, ya STILL gonna tell?" Sasuke asked his third window.

"NO! FOR THE LOVE OF THE HOKAGE, PLEASE LET ME UP!" Neji screamed hysterically. Sasuke's tower was the second largest in the building and well over thirty stories. And Neji had never learned how to fly or cling to walls.

"Good boy." Sasuke said, smiling.

End.

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Some might ask why.

Why do this to Sasuke?

Sasuke never really clicked with me as a reader. He's called the best in his class, yet his skills are actually the worst. At least Naruto has a number of useful techniques and Sakura has excellent chakra control. Sasuke's fireball attack could NEVER do anything more than surprise someone. It never worked against Kakashi OR Haku. In fact, looking at his track record, even Sakura has beaten more opponents on her own.

I think the real reason Sasuke was on Team 7 was because HE was dead last and Naruto was the top. Think about it: Sasuke's attendance in class was less about him wanting to study and more about him wanting to learn jutsus. The only real difference was that he didn't shout it like Naruto. And honesty towards those in command is highly prized, as is the ability to listen to orders.

The main reason he was even popular was likely because he was the last of his clan, and unlike Naruto, oozed the 'mysterious bad boy' aura, which as those of us who are nice guys know, makes girls orgasm or hurl intimate apparel and hotel keys.

I wouldn't have been all that shocked if most of those clamoring for his attention weren't just gold diggers actually just trying to get his family's bloodlimit into their own. I suppose they'd be called "DNA Diggers".

Anyway, the only times Sasuke's ever shown to be competent in any fashion was when he was berating Naruto for his lack of knowledge, when it should have been obvious to a so-called 'Genius', that Naruto's education was likely heavily sabotaged by those who hated Kyuubi.

Why else would Naruto have to grow to like orange jumpsuits? It was very likely the only one anyone would sell to him (and probably at an outrageous price too), and it was probably done in the hopes that he would die on his first mission.

In some ways, I wrote this to break Sasuke into a personality that would be more suitable for him.

Plus I like torturing Neji.

A-kun


End file.
